Creating your own reality, using the law of attraction, simply means that you create based on your feelings and your thoughts. Sometimes we might think that we are holding positive thoughts and trying to feel good about ourselves, yet we find ourselves in the midst of an emotional mess. This can easily lead to a situation full of emotional landmines. Most of the time we don’t even know how we got into this toxic soup to begin with.

There are some ways to recognize negative self-talk, and overcome it. I recently read a couple of articles about toxic gratitude and gaslighting yourself.  I’ve had many of these thoughts and overcome them with the help some of these techniques. But, life is a work in progress for us all. I hope this helps.

A good way to take stock (ha, ha, sorry, not sorry) of this situation is to ask yourself these questions – use a journal and write down the questions and the answers, at least the answers.

1. Is the situation really working for me? Be honest, don’t dismiss the problems, acknowledge them. Don’t say, well I feel upset a lot or nearly all the time, but today was a good day. Recognize the pattern of good days and bad days. If there are more bad days, then the situation is not working out for you.
2. Check yourself out.  Is your “positive” self-talk helping? Do you feel better, or is the situation getting better? You might think that you’re trying to be positive only to have no change or to make yourself feel worse.  
3. You don’t leave a bad situation because you feel that you should be more positive and “it will get better”, or even worse that you don’t think anything better will come your way.

Some examples of toxic gratitude are:

1. It’s Ok I got a C, I don’t have to get all A’s. I’m fine just the way I am
2.  I hate my job, but at least I am working and getting a paycheck. I don’t know if I can even get another job. I’m just grateful I am working
3. My partner is mean to me sometimes, but it’s not all the time and no one is perfect. We’re fine.

It’s easy to find yourself swimming in a broth of your own making. Just as you got into the soup you can get out of it. Once you’ve identified your negative self-talk, take action. Here are some things that will help you to get control over your thoughts and help to eliminate toxic gratitude and self-gaslighting.

1.  Keep a journal and record your thoughts. Once you recognize your thought patterns you can begin to recognize them in the moment and change them by changing your focus to something positive. Even animal videos work, the trick is to get back to a joyful mindset.
2. Practice affirmations.  If you can’t remember to consciously practice affirmations, or it makes you feel silly, play affirmation videos as you drift off to sleep. The affirmations will seep you’re your brain, and plant seeds of positivity. The more often you listen the deeper and more profound the change. There are a ton out there, but Rising Higher Meditations with Jess Shepherd and Jason Stephenson’s I AM Affirmations have worked wonders for me.
3. Be patient with yourself and realize that you, as Janey Davis says at the end of   7 Signs You are Gaslighting yourself and How to Stop) “are important, your emotions are valid, and you have every right to feel the way that you do.”

This is a link to a Rising Higher Meditation video for help with replacing negative thoughts and beliefs with gratitude.

If you would like more information about over coming toxic gratitude, I used this article by Renée Onque  @IAMRENEEONQUE as the basis for this post.  https://tinyurl.com/toxic-gaslighting

I found this post about gaslighting yourself. There are some good suggestions for overcoming self gaslighting.

7 Signs You Are Gaslighting Yourself & How to Stop   – Learning Mind (learning-mind.com)

Namaste’