Creating your own reality, using the law of attraction, simply means that you create based on your feelings and your thoughts. Sometimes we might think that we are holding positive thoughts, yet we find ourselves swimming in the midst of an emotional quagmire. Most of the time we don’t even know how we got into this toxic soup to begin with. This is the time we need to check in with ourselves. We need to fully understand whether we’re creating joy in our lives or if we are gaslighting ourselves with toxic gratitude.

There are some ways to recognize negative self -talk. It can be overcome by asking yourself a few simple questions.

A good way to take stock of the situation is to ask yourself these questions – use a journal, write down the questions and the answers. Be honest with yourself. You are the only one seeing these, and on top of that you are the only one that can change your mind.

1. Is the situation really working for me? Be honest, don’t dismiss the problems, acknowledge them. Don’t say, “well I feel upset a lot or nearly all the time, but today was a good day.” Recognize the pattern of good days and bad days. If there are more bad days, examine the things you say to yourself. Do they cultivate, if not joy, at least happiness and self-confidence?
2. Check yourself out. Is your “positive” self-talk helping? Do you feel better, or is the situation getting better? You might think that you’re trying to be positive only to have no change or to make yourself feel worse. 
3. You don’t leave a bad situation because you feel that you should be more positive and “it will get better”, or even worse that you don’t think anything better will come your way.

Some examples of toxic gratitude are:

1. It’s Ok I got a C, I don’t have to get all A’s. I’m fine just the way I am.
2. I hate my job, but at least I am working and getting a paycheck. I don’t know if I can even get another job. I’m just grateful I am working.
3. My partner is mean to me sometimes, but it’s not all the time and no one is perfect. We’re fine.

It’s easy to find yourself floating in a broth of your own making. Just as you got into the soup you can get out of it. Once you’ve identified your negative self-talk, take action. Here are some things that will help you to get control over your thoughts and help to eliminate toxic gratitude and self-gaslighting.

1.  Keep a journal and record your thoughts. Once you recognize your thought patterns you can begin to recognize them in the moment and change them by changing your focus to something positive. Even animal videos work, the trick is to get back to a joyful mindset.
2. Practice affirmations.  If you can’t remember to consciously practice affirmations, or it makes you feel silly, play affirmation videos as you drift off to sleep. The affirmations will seep into your brain, and plant seeds of positivity. The more often you listen the deeper and more profound the change. There are a ton out there, but Rising Higher Meditations with Jess Shepherd and Jason Stephenson’s I AM Affirmations are great places to start.
3. Be patient with yourself and realize that “you,” as Janey Davis says at the end of 7 Signs that You are Gaslighting Yourself and How to Stop.“are important, your emotions are valid and you have every right to feel the way that you do.” You also deserve to live a life filled with joy.

If you would like more information about over coming toxic gratitude, read this article by Renée Onque  @IAMRENEEONQUE, https://tinyurl.com/toxic-gaslighting

This is a link to a Rising Higher Mediation video filled with affirmations.

Namasté